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CHRISTIAN COUNSELING THOUGHTS



We believe there are many factors that can play a part in our lives such as, biological, environmental, social, physical, emotional and spiritual.  I think most people have some issues in life to work through, because that is how we learn to grow. Of course, there are severe cases, but mostly the problem arises when a person cannot work through these issues by themselves.  I believe some problems are caused from the wrong (negative) thought process.  


There is a solution for this, we need to change our thoughts and manage them (take thoughts captive, 2 Cor. 10: 5).   I use an old method; a thirty-second experiment when people say they can’t do it.  I have them count to ten in their head, and when I say his or her name to repeat their name immediately. They instantly have to stop counting, to say their name out loud.  If I can get a person to change their negative or addictive thoughts for a few minutes, then an hour, we can work out the problems together. 



What one puts in his or her mind will affect what you think, and these thoughts will determine what choices you will make, and these choices or decisions will affect every part of your life.  So, we should continually renew the mind to be holy people.  This is so we can be whole [complete] in body, soul and spirit, which make up the three parts of man.  It says in 1 Thess. 5:23, “And the very God of peace sanctify you wholly; and I pray God your whole spirit and soul and body be preserved blameless unto the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ (King James Version).  What is put in the mind can affect every part of our life, so after good decisions are made a process of decision management has to be maintained for a better future.  When we accomplish this we will be of one mind with the Spirit.     



Negative thinking is by far one of the biggest contributors to stress and anxiety disorders. Also, other areas to be addressed in prevention in some people are problem solving, decision making and judgment calling, which is seen as some problems from early childhood that is undeveloped. The mind controls the thoughts, and when this is out of balance it could host numerous human fears. Just as there are learned fears one can learn to control these fears. There are two kinds of stress, acute (threat or danger, flight response) and chronic (continual stressful pressure), which can weaken the immune system and cause other disorders, or illnesses. It is important to get plenty of exercise, diet, and have a plan of prevention to reduce stress by planning ahead, organization, and add accordingly. We need to have definite goals to leave time for relation-training time, reading God’s Word, meditation, and breathing techniques. In addition, it is always important to have support from family and friends.       Cognitive therapists teach patients to interpret their physical sensations such as, relaxing and breathing techniques to cope better with anxiety and stress. By using energy to cope with issues instead of flight or fear it will attack stress and have a reward affect instead of a sense of failure. There are different kinds of coping stress, which is “problem-focused coping” and “emotion-focused coping.” Both kinds can tackle stress head on. This is the answer, to address issues as soon as possible to solve and confront the problem. In emotion-focused coping it is difficult, but sometimes when we change the feeling about the stressor rather than struggling to change the problems, which will help take the pressure off.     One can control their thoughts, for the mind is a battlefield, but we need to lean on the Lord to make it all work out. It states in Proverbs 3:5, “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;”  




GOD'S FOR HIM PLAN



Life is full of challenges at any age, but it’s harder when a woman is in the second half of her life.  How does one restore a woman’s life from problems such as; abuse, release the heart of unforgiveness, unresolved anger, how to deal with grief (loss), loneliness, depression, and divorce to be a fully restored wholesome woman?  To get through these issues, it can only happen when a woman has put herself into God’s hands as He subsequently begins to mold and re-shape her life.  Trials are like silver, once purified (gone through the fire) only then it will become very precious and has value.  A woman can get through these stages of abuse, unforgiveness, unresolved anger, grief, depression, divorce and many other trials to get through the other side, and have a victorious wholesome life.  God wants us to love Him, have a relationship with Him (His presence in prayer), follow Him and share Him.  Jesus’ passion to love others should be manifested in us; this is “God’s Four Him Plan.”



Most of the time a person is left a victim because of his or her past problems that they have not been dealt with for years.  Even so, I tell you God says we are not be stay a victim we are to “Arise, shine, for your light has come, and the glory of the LORD rises upon you” (NIV, Isaiah 60: 1).  Jamieson-Fausset-Brown Bible Commentary state in chapter 60 as this: Isa 60:1-22. Israel's Glory after Her Affliction:


“Arise-from the dust in which thou hast been sitting as a mourning female captive (Isa. 3:26; 52:1, 2).  Shine-or, “be enlightened; for thy light cometh”; impart to others the spiritual light now given thee (Isa. 60:3). The Margin and Gesenius translate, “Be enlightened”; be resplendent with posterity; imperative for the future indicative, “Thou shalt be enlightened" (Isa. 58:8, 10; Eph.  5:8, 14).  Glory of the Lord-not merely the Shekinah, or cloud of glory, such as rested above the ark in the old dispensation, but the glory of the Lord in person (Jer.  3:16, 17).  Is risen-as the sun (Mal 4:2; Lu 1:78, Margin).”


Arise; we are not to continue as a mourning female captive, we are victorious women!


We will arise from our prostration (physical or mental) and claim God’s promises.  However, we are required by God to forgive our abusers.  A few verses are: (NIV) Mark 11: 25, “And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins”; Matt. 6: 14, 15; 2 Cor. 2: 10; Luke 11: 4; and (NIV) Matthew 6: 12 says,  “Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.”  The worst of emotions is unforgiveness; it is the hardest to conquer.   All believers are commanded to forgive others as Christ forgave (Eph. 4: 31-32).  However, when we forgive as God has forgiven us, we will go forward into the promise land, and receive what God has for us.  It states in (NIV) Jeremiah 29: 11, “For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” 


The Healing Journey Begins


Whatever it is as abuse, depression, addictions or a loss of a loved one, a woman can get through it, cross over to the other side, and live a “victorious wholesome restored life.”  A divorce, in particular, is like a death, a loss you can get through when you put your life in God’s hands.  One can accomplish anything when one manages negative feelings, make good decisions, have good attitudes, control emotions and live a life in the Spirit. 



There are stages for a divorce, but it can be the same stages for most problems.  Sometimes we do not have answers to our questions, but this is where the real journey begins.  When you don’t have answers to your questions, go to the one who does, God.  When a woman goes through a trauma in her life such as abuse, or divorce her emotions are out of control, but God is still in control of their lives.  Go to God in prayer by placing one’s trials, temptations, and surrender one’s own life into the hands of the Lord; He is the Master of our problems. 



First in “God’s Four Him Plan” is to come before the Lord and love Him like He said, “loving God is the greatest commandment, and the second is like unto it, love others,” as Jesus said in Matthew 22: 37-39.  Living the Godly mature life is all about love.  God is love as it says in 1 John 4:16.  We need to focus on Jesus alone (Matt.17:8). To make Him the center of our attention and love, then we are gradually and continuously changed into the likeness of Christ.  It is in loving we are most like Him.



A person has to encounter God by praying; that is the second thing in “God’s Four Him Plan.”   Prayer is an offering up of our desires to God for all things lawful and needful, with humble confidence that we shall obtain them through the meditations of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.  Jesus said in John 14:6, “I am the way, the truth and the life: no man cometh unto the father, but by me.”  Prayer is a relationship with God.  This love relationship is the point of which effectual prayer begins. 



This third stage in the “God’s Four Him Plan” is to follow Him, however, it is with the right attitude.  It is all about one’s attitude to handle problems.  Jesus says, “Whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant also will be.  My Father will honor the one who serves me” (John 12: 26). This right attitude has to begin with a change of heart and a changed mind.  We are in the world, but we are not to be “of” the world.  It says in (NIV) Romans 12: 2, “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then, you will be able to test and approve what God's will is-his good, pleasing and perfect will.” To renew our mind means to line up with God’s Word.  He is our source of power, in fact, the Power of the Holy Spirit.  With God’s power we have strength, (NIV) Phil. 4: 13, “I can do everything through him who gives me strength.” 



This fourth stage in “God’s Four Him Plan” is to “share Him.”  To share Him, one needs to get His Word out.  It says in Mark 16: 15, “He said to them, “Go into all the world and preach the good news to all creation.” One needs to reorganize and move forward-to God.  Looking back and living in the past has no value.  It says in Luke 9: 62, “Jesus replied, "No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.”  The answer is to look forward. 



In conclusion, to be a wholesome woman restored, one needs to be “United to God,” living out His Will.  “God’s Four Him Plan” is a “New Life in Christ.”  Happiness is a choice, and healing is also a choice.  A person must make conscious decisions to choose to live a happy, healed and wholesome life.  No one said life was easy, but God will be right beside you to help you through it.