Please take the time to browse this website. In the fall of September 2020, we will be adding an online counseling business.
CHRISTIAN COUNSELING THOUGHTS
We believe there are many
factors that can play a part in our lives such as, biological, environmental,
social, physical, emotional and spiritual.
I think most people have some issues in life to work through, because
that is how we learn to grow. Of course, there are severe cases, but mostly the
problem arises when a person cannot work through these issues by
themselves. I believe some problems are
caused from the wrong (negative) thought process.
There is a solution for this, we
need to change our thoughts and manage them (take thoughts captive, 2 Cor. 10:
5). I use an old method; a
thirty-second experiment when people say they can’t do it. I have them count to ten in their head, and
when I say his or her name to repeat their name immediately. They instantly
have to stop counting, to say their name out loud. If I can get a person to change their
negative or addictive thoughts for a few minutes, then an hour, we can work out
the problems together.
What one puts in his or her mind
will affect what you think, and these thoughts will determine what choices you
will make, and these choices or decisions will affect every part of your
life. So, we should continually renew
the mind to be holy people. This is so
we can be whole [complete] in body, soul and spirit, which make up the three
parts of man. It says in 1 Thess. 5:23,
“And the very God of peace sanctify you wholly; and I pray God your whole spirit and soul and body be preserved
blameless unto the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ (King James Version). What is put in the mind can affect every part
of our life, so after good decisions are made a process of decision management
has to be maintained for a better future.
When we accomplish this we will be of one mind with the Spirit.
Negative thinking is by far one of the biggest contributors to stress and
anxiety disorders. Also, other areas to be addressed in prevention in some
people are problem solving, decision making and judgment calling, which is seen
as some problems from early childhood that is undeveloped. The mind controls
the thoughts, and when this is out of balance it could host numerous human
fears. Just as there are learned fears one can learn to control these fears. There
are two kinds of stress, acute (threat or danger, flight response) and chronic
(continual stressful pressure), which can weaken the immune system and cause
other disorders, or illnesses. It is important to get plenty of exercise, diet,
and have a plan of prevention to reduce stress by planning ahead,
organization, and add accordingly. We need to have definite goals to leave time
for relation-training time, reading God’s Word, meditation, and breathing
techniques. In addition, it is always important to have support from
family and friends.
Cognitive therapists teach patients to interpret their physical
sensations such as, relaxing and breathing techniques to cope better with
anxiety and stress. By using energy to cope with issues instead of flight or
fear it will attack stress and have a reward affect instead of a sense of
failure. There are different kinds of coping stress, which is “problem-focused
coping” and “emotion-focused coping.” Both kinds can tackle stress head on.
This is the answer, to address issues as soon as possible to solve and confront
the problem. In emotion-focused coping it is difficult, but sometimes when we
change the feeling about the stressor rather than struggling to change the
problems, which will help take the pressure off.
One can control their thoughts, for the mind is a battlefield, but we
need to lean on the Lord to make it all work out. It states in Proverbs 3:5,
“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;”
GOD'S FOR HIM PLAN
Life
is full of challenges at any age, but it’s harder when a woman is in the second
half of her life. How does one restore a woman’s life from problems such as;
abuse, release the heart of unforgiveness,
unresolved anger, how to
deal with grief (loss), loneliness, depression, and divorce to be a fully
restored wholesome woman? To get through
these issues, it can only happen when a woman has put herself into God’s hands
as He subsequently begins to mold and re-shape her life. Trials are like silver, once purified (gone
through the fire) only then it will become very precious and has value. A woman can get through these stages of abuse,
unforgiveness, unresolved anger, grief, depression, divorce and many other
trials to get through the other side, and have a victorious wholesome
life. God wants us to love
Him, have a relationship with
Him (His presence in prayer), follow
Him and share Him. Jesus’ passion to love others should be
manifested in us; this is “God’s Four
Him Plan.”
Most
of the time a person is left a victim because of his or her past problems that
they have not been dealt with for years.
Even so, I tell you God says we are not be stay a victim we are to
“Arise, shine, for your light has come, and the glory of the LORD rises upon
you” (NIV, Isaiah 60: 1). Jamieson-Fausset-Brown
Bible Commentary state in chapter 60 as this: Isa 60:1-22. Israel's
Glory after Her Affliction:
“Arise-from the dust in which thou hast
been sitting as a mourning female captive (Isa. 3:26; 52:1, 2). Shine-or, “be enlightened; for thy light
cometh”; impart to others the spiritual light now given thee (Isa. 60:3). The
Margin and Gesenius translate, “Be enlightened”; be resplendent with posterity;
imperative for the future indicative, “Thou shalt be enlightened" (Isa.
58:8, 10; Eph. 5:8, 14). Glory of the Lord-not merely the Shekinah, or
cloud of glory, such as rested above the ark in the old dispensation, but the
glory of the Lord in person (Jer. 3:16,
17). Is risen-as the sun (Mal 4:2; Lu
1:78, Margin).”
Arise; we are not to continue as a
mourning female captive, we are victorious women!
We
will arise from our prostration (physical or mental) and claim God’s
promises. However, we are required by
God to forgive our abusers. A few verses
are: (NIV) Mark 11: 25, “And when you stand praying, if you hold anything
against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your
sins”; Matt. 6: 14, 15; 2 Cor. 2: 10; Luke 11: 4; and (NIV) Matthew 6: 12
says, “Forgive us our debts, as we also
have forgiven our debtors.” The worst of emotions is unforgiveness; it is the hardest to conquer. All believers are commanded to forgive
others as Christ forgave (Eph. 4: 31-32).
However, when we forgive as God has forgiven us, we will go
forward into the promise land, and receive what God has for us. It states in (NIV) Jeremiah 29: 11, “For I
know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you
and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
The Healing Journey Begins
Whatever
it is as abuse, depression, addictions or a loss of a loved one, a woman can get
through it, cross over to the other side, and live a “victorious wholesome
restored life.” A divorce, in
particular, is like a death, a loss you can get through when you put your life
in God’s hands. One can accomplish
anything when one manages negative feelings, make good decisions, have good
attitudes, control emotions and live a life in the Spirit.
There
are stages for a divorce, but it can be the same stages for most problems. Sometimes we do not have answers to our
questions, but this is where the real journey begins. When you don’t have answers to your
questions, go to the one who does, God.
When a woman goes through a trauma in her life such as abuse, or divorce
her emotions are out of control, but God is still in control of their
lives. Go to God in prayer by
placing one’s trials, temptations, and surrender one’s own life into the hands
of the Lord; He is the Master of our problems.
First in “God’s Four Him Plan” is to come before the Lord and love Him
like He said, “loving God is the greatest commandment, and the second is like
unto it, love others,” as Jesus said in Matthew 22: 37-39. Living
the Godly mature life is all about love.
God is love as it says in 1 John 4:16. We need to focus on Jesus
alone (Matt.17:8). To make Him the center of our attention and love, then
we are gradually and continuously changed into the likeness of Christ. It
is in loving we are most like Him.
A person has to
encounter God by praying; that is the second thing in “God’s Four
Him Plan.” Prayer is an offering up of our
desires to God for all things
lawful and needful, with humble confidence that we shall obtain them through
the meditations of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Jesus said in John 14:6, “I am the
way, the truth and the life: no man cometh unto the father, but by me.” Prayer
is a relationship with God. This
love relationship is the point of which effectual prayer begins.
This
third stage in the “God’s Four Him Plan” is to
followHim, however, it is with the
right attitude. It is all about one’s
attitude to handle problems. Jesus says, “Whoever
serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant also will be. My Father will honor the one who serves me”
(John 12: 26). This right attitude has to begin with a change of heart and a
changed mind. We are in the world, but
we are not to be “of” the world. It says
in (NIV) Romans 12: 2, “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world,
but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then, you will be able to test
and approve what God's will is-his good, pleasing and perfect will.” To renew
our mind means to line up with God’s Word.
He is our source of power, in fact, the Power of the Holy Spirit.
With God’s power we have strength, (NIV) Phil. 4: 13, “I can do
everything through him who gives me strength.”
This
fourth stage in “God’s Four Him Plan” is to
“share Him.” To share Him, one needs to
get His Word out. It says in Mark 16:
15, “He said to them, “Go into all the world and preach the good news to all
creation.” One needs to reorganize and
move forward-to God. Looking back
and living in the past has no value. It
says in Luke 9: 62, “Jesus replied, "No one who puts his hand to the plow
and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.” The answer is to look forward.
In
conclusion, to be a wholesome woman restored, one needs to be “United to God,” living out His
Will. “God’s Four Him Plan” is a “New Life in Christ.”
Happiness is a choice, and healing is also a choice. A person must make conscious decisions to
choose to live a happy, healed and wholesome life. No one said life was easy, but God will be
right beside you to help you through it.